MLK Weekend

The boys were with daddy this weekend and I've been waiting for months to watch the new Twilight movie with the ladies so I drove down to Ft Myers and stayed with Erin for the long weekend. We had some get togethers, window shopped and went to see the movie. I got to see Matt on Monday and it was back home to clean house before the boys came home!

My Feelings Lately

Do you think I don't hurt through this process? Maybe you think I'm having an awesome time and living it up being 'single'? I did not want my marriage to go this way. This is not what I wanted for my children. After basically being the sole caregiver to the boys through their entire lives, I'm not used to giving them up for a few hours, let alone, multiple days at a time. The first night is always the worst. It usually ends with me crying, getting a migraine and occassionally vomiting. I went into my marriage knowing love and serving was a choice and I fully believe I did those things, not with perfection but, the best I possible could. There was a point where I believed I was being treated so badly that I had to examine the rest of my life, make a choice and begin to learn that I am worth something-That Christ says I'm worth something. In fact, that I am worth so much that He would give up His only Son and His human life to die for a sinner like myself. My married life up til now, has been filled with worthlessness and uselessness. I've done nothing right from mowing the grass, to doing laundry, to making dinners, to praying to my God. I'm not sexy and in fact, even stupid. I'm hurt and embarrassed to even let this get out but most of all I feel like a complete idiot for binding my life to a person who has treated me worse than anyone I've met in my entire life. I am working past it. This last summer was excruciating for me- trying to decide to continue to be treated this way and my thoughts on what is biblical. I believe my body showed the emotional struggle-skin issues, stomach problems, sleeplesness, overall pain and weight gain. Under circiumctances I will not give details to, I believe I've made the right choice in my life and have no doubts anymore. If you disagree, let the Lord decide. Not one can possibly fully know the entire situation and my know my heart but God. It is not for you to judge but only to keep me lovingly held accountable and I am so much appreciative for the few that have done so and are continuing to do so. I hurt so much to know so many of my aquantainces who've been won over by here-say.  I struggle so much recently with anger toward a few who choose to hate me or ignore me and have never said a word directly to me. Even more so that 100% of these people affiliate themselves with Christ. I suppose to answer the above questions if I haven't done so already, I feel the freedom in Christ that I feel I should, I feel I'm learning and healing, but I am most definitely not without hurt and not without struggle.

Time with Aden

We got to have some fun with Aden the first weekend in January. His baby brother, Tristan, had to take a trip to the ER that Friday and ended up in emergency brain surgery the next morning and stayed through the weekend. Aden went home on Monday but Tristan had some complications durning the week and he came back Tues-Wed. He is such a sweet, well behaved boy! The boys had a good time with him. We took him to church on Sunday and out for a picnic and to spend some time with his momma that afternoon. We played soccer, took a walk and looked for aligators! And, Tristan has been back home and seems to be doing great!

two baby gators

potty break

looking for Gators!

my baby in the leaves

Boo boos for Nicolae

Nicolae's really been taking some hits to the face lately. It's been super cold and actually iced on the sidewalk at his school. We were leaving and he ran out and slipped on an ice patch with nothing to catch him but his face. He was bleeding all over but it's healed nicely so far. Then, Gabriel and Nicolae were running in the house and turned direction to have Gabriel's forehead hit Nicolae right under the eye. What a terrible looking black eye!

Christmas Pictures

We had our Christmas pictures taken (by Jennifer) at the pond this year.

Happy New Year!

The boys were with Daddy over New Year and I went to John and Marie's to spend it with their family and our friends. We had fun times eating, hanging out and playing the xbox. Marie and I dropped over to Jessica's birthday party for a bit and came back to ring in the new year with only a handful of people that actually stayed for midnight.